For the past couple of years since I've left home to come to the mainland, I have been receiving dreams about a former a friend. Now, they don't always occur but it happens every now and then. I don't ever think about him since our friendship ended since middle school but for some reason, I get him in my dreams. Why is that?
The most recent dream was him and I being back home in the playground swing of our old school. We've been classmates since kindergarten and just fell apart when middle school came in (perhaps it has something to do with me confessing that I liked him and people feeding him negative and untrue rumors about me). That's his fault for believing them.
Anyways, in the dream, we were just talking. We talked about how everything was back then and how we both treated each other. As soon as he heard me, he apologized. He explained his situation and everything felt better. I gave him a hug and unexpectedly, he laughs and pulls me in for a deeper hug.
Let me describe this type of hug: I got off my swing and walked behind him to give him a short back hug/pat on the back. As soon as I hugged him, he laughs warm heartedly and pulls my arm. I somehow do this slick move where I went from the back and slid to the front where I was suddenly sitting on his lap. He hugged me tightly and then we kissed.
After that, I woke up.
I didn't understand it. I didn't get it. I never understood why I had him in my dreams in different occurrences.
Dreams can mean so much even though it can be so confusing. With that, we just got to look at the meaning behind it.
Thinking about it now, it's still so heart breaking. He was my friend and also my very first crush. Maybe I was naive.
And maybe, just maybe...
I still long for the apology.
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