Broken Friendships

What causes friendships to break or drift apart?

There are many possibilities:
-Being too far apart
-No contact
-Lies
-Betrayal
-Comparisons
and so much more!


Being too far apart and No contact most likely would coincide with each other. Because one could be across the country or across the world, the differences in time could have a major effect. At times, individuals become too busy and caught up in life that it delays or prevents any contact with anyone. And with that, one could have just moved on completely.
I suggest that if friends were apart for quite a while to simply just send little notes here and there to sustain what is left of the friendship. Though many of us may not have the time, perhaps taking just a minute or two to message your friend on Facebook (or any other social network that both friends have) to just say "HI" before hitting the home button and scrolling down your News Feed.

Lies. When considering being friends with another individual, we suspect them to be honest with us. The goal is to find something in common to connect with and then enjoy the random adventures together in the game of getting-to-know-you. As much as possible, we try to build friendships with trust and honesty. Lies fractures any friendship. It creates the suspicion on every information given by the other.
As hard as it is, maybe a suggestive proposal is to always try and stay true. It's best to tell each other the truth than to lie behind their backs. True friends would be able to accept it and move on. Of course, an individual must have their share of secrets too, but when it comes to something about a friend, don't hide it, especially if you think it was best to "spare" their feelings.

Betrayal would be an extension of lies. The more the lies gather, the more betrayed the person is on the other end. Betrayal could be as simple as revealing a secret to another person without their permission to as complicated as siding with another without fully understanding both sides. Lies makes a crack but betrayal can truly break the glass. Depending on the severity of the problem, it still causes major damage.
An idea to hopefully prevent this is to be honest. Just like the advice given in Lies, it still revolves around honesty and trust. Not always can a friend side with another if the other is in the wrong; however, it is not best to pick sides without fully grasping the problem and doing their best to be as unbiased as possible. For this section, it all started with lies and ends up in betrayal. It's not the easiest but it should be prevented.

I added Comparisons because this is one thing that could drive a person away. We all have friends that come and go in our lifetime. Some of those friends leave huge scars of the past. When we become friends with other people, involuntarily we begin to compare them to our past pain. Though it is normal to react that way, it shouldn't be the only way to search for new friends. A friend being compared to a past friend is similar to siblings being compared to one another. It's not the best feeling in the world.
I highly believe that a way to avoid comparisons is to not do it at all. No one likes the feeling of being compared to someone else. It creates low self esteem at times. It alters the person to believe that they cannot be themselves or the friendship is gone. People may act the same in certain situations but that does not mean that they are exactly like the previous aches.

Personally, I have gone through the listed possibilities. Though these are my personal opinions, I hope that it will somewhat help those who are in similar situations.
It isn't easy and usually it ends up being quite painful. However, one of the best advises I can give on this subject is to let go once it hurts too much. Give yourself time to heal and let it out. Don't do anything rash as to scream and yell at the person. Distance yourself away from the pain to let your mind clear. Once you feel you are ready to confront them or at least see if the friendship is still there, then and ONLY THEN should you go face them and have a mature conversation.

It may not be like how it was before. When friendships break, not all the pieces will be able to fit back into place.

So cherish friendships like any relationship.